Category Archives: conscious relating

The Yoni Oracle-a 2 min practice to access your intuitive sensual wisdom

The Yoni Oracle

A repeat complaint i hear from SO many women is how frustrating it is to be stuck in their heads all the time.

Its true, when we are cut off from the incredible realm of our feminine bodies, we are cut off from a whole world of life , we are cut off from our feminine wisdom and essence , and the deep satisfaction which that brings to our lives

I have found that the best remedy for this situation is learn how to sense and feel our wisdom from our bodies.

Also......a lesser known fact is that your sexual organs are remarkably sensitive and intelligent. And that the more presence we give them the more we can tap into our intuitive sensual body wisdom, and allow this navigation system to guide us in our everyday lives.

I have found that FINDING OUR WISDOM FROM WITHIN OUR BODIES really is a THE MAJOR KEY for FEMININE FULFILMENT.

The great thing is that any moment is a good moment to practice accessing this wisdom!

Lets start now!!!

Got a decision to make? why don't you throw out your list of pros and cons and consult the best oracle you have - your yoni!

Try the Yoni Oracle now!

Please share with any sister you feel could benefit from this practice!​

Enjoy sisters !!

If you have any questions go on and

ASK ME

INTERESTED IN WOMENS EMPOWERMENT COACHING???

YES I CAN BE YOUR PERSONAL HANDHOLDER/COACH/PRIESTESS/CHEERLEADER/SISTER!

This is the service I provide because I am super aware of how much we need space holders to help us birth our graceful movements to 'the next level'

(also I am kind of addicted to witnessing women embracing their power..)

It sends a thrill all the way through me to midwife women into their potential in a way that is honoring to their deepest needs.

I know how to feel into what may be blocking you, and help you to move through that, so contact me if you are interested in a coaching program or one off session.

How to be in your power as a woman AND be open to LOVE

Insights for women on how to find that sweet balance between being strong, vulnerable and open.

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Do you know how it feels to be playful and open, and ALSO centered and connected?

This fusion of softness and inner strength is an important key to feeling fulfilled as a woman, and if we bring these qualities into our relationships they tend to be nourishing and empowering and fulfilling.

From working with SO many women I have noticed 2 kinds of patterns.

The first I would call ‘un- boundary-ed women’. These are basically women with undefined boundaries, women who find it difficult to say no and tend to ‘lose themselves’ in relationships. These women are ‘too open’ in a way that leaves them disconnected from their inner source of wisdom and strength.

This is one extreme. Where openness is not accompanied by firm inner roots connecting us to our self worth, our own needs and our unique voice.

Then there are the women with what I call ‘strong women syndrome’.

These women are disconnected from their feminine qualities in a way that hardens them and prevents them from being able to give and RECEIVE love freely and truly relax and let go of control in everyday life.

Both of these patterns can block us from living in our power and creating healthy empowering relationships.

Do you relate to this?

Like many women I suffered what I call ‘ strong woman syndrome’. Through necessity I learnt to look after myself and cope in many different challenging circumstances. The connection to my inner ‘warrioress’ helped me to create healthy boundaries and own my worth and speak my truth with confidence. But the journey has not stopped there…

Because I, like most women, yearn for intimacy….

I do not want to be so strong and self sufficient that I am guarded against receiving love….

I want to be acknowledged as a beautiful woman, to be seen and celebrated by the masculine and to receive appreciation, affirmation and love, not from neediness or disempowerment, but from a place of deep self love.

And i want to ‘get out of my head’ and feel deep pleasure, blissful union and surrender…daily….

Not only that, but I do not want to ‘lose myself’ and my connection to my own power in the process….

Are you with me?

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So how do we find this delicate balance between the strong and the open receptive parts of us?

And allow both aspects to support us in living as confident and connected women?

and to experience next level love?

The following points are playful suggestions and guidance for your own exploration of fusing softness and strength in your life and your relationships.

1.Explore how you feel, constantly!

No matter which side of the scale you veer towards, self knowledge is always your super power, to notice when you are feeling tense, and/or to notice when you are losing connection to your center…this clarity of awareness is the most important information you can have. Once you are aware of the patterns that tend to play out in you, this gives you the opportunity to redress the imbalances as they arise.

Have regular check in’s with yourself, especially when you are in situations where you tend to fall into old patterns of doing things. For instance, when with a friend who you always end up saying yes to when you really mean no. Or when you begin to get tense and defensive when you feel upset.

Notice your fallback behavior.

Notice how it feels to be shut down, tense or disconnected from your centre, noticing is the first step.

2. Sign .soften and surrender

When you notice yourself getting hardened, or notice that you are tuning out and becoming ungrounded, take a big breath into your belly, let out a juicy sigh, come back into a connection with the sensations in your body RIGHT NOW.

Your body never lies!!

It is your ultimate reference point, when in doubt, breathe into your belly, connect to your soft feminine power through a nice long deep effortless breath, then another, then another..

Allow yourself to relax into your own self.

3. Ask for what you need to go deeper

Get used to asking yourself the following question..

What do I really need right now???

Perhaps you want to feel more relaxed and supported, or maybe you need a sense of feeling centered and grounded. Perhaps you would like to be held, perhaps you need to let go of your ‘to do’ list and go for a walk.

Or..perhaps you need to RECEIVE.

Get good at asking others for what you REALLY need too ..you could ask someone in your life if they could stroke your face, or have a cup of tea with you, or make love to you.

You are a woman; one of your ‘jobs’ is to receive, either from yourself, or someone else.

ENJOY IT!!!!!

Be sure to balance the giving and receiving in your life so that you KNOW how it is to RECEIVE in a way that is empowering, nourishing and fulfilling. Be creative in designing the experience of woman hood you deeply desire.

4. Notice which patterns and beliefs you inherited.

Was your mother a push over or a control freak? It can be super helpful to reflect on how you have been influenced by the messages you received from your early life. I would suggest that perhaps if your mother had the habit of dominating, that it is part of your work in this life to learn to be soft and receptive, and if your mother was a push over that part of your work in this life is to own your worth, know your boundaries and claim relationships which honor both.

Rather than feeling helpless about your inherited patterns and the ways that you have been conditioned see what you were given as an opportunity to find a more balanced manifestation of woman.

I hope these words were helpful, I have found all these principles to be extremely helpful in taking me beyond my own patterns and into a more free flowing and enjoyable way of living and giving and receiving and BEING a woman.

This has helped me to experience a quality of intimacy in ALL of my relationship which nourishes me and reminds me how wonderful it is to be a open, integrated woman, connected to my OWN power.

And my wish is that all women are able to experience this!

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Tantra 101 – 4 tips for daily life

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We think that the way out of our old patterns will be complicated.

Secretly we want the release, we want to feel free, we want to feel alive, comfortable in our own skins and confident in our place on the earth. We crave this, yet we also fear this, we fear ourselves, we fear being exposed. We are conditioned to be afraid of life and our patterns keep those fears in place.

We fear that perhaps we will never move past these patterns that hold us in fear and separation…we can begin to think that it will take a super powerful highly advanced technique to get us out of our old patterns and into an experience of freedom.

As it turns out, the way beyond our patterns does not involve a complex magic trick, it does not come in the form of a special drug or a high salary or a mastery of a sexual technique or a fancy meditation technique or any technique for that matter…

The cosmic joke is that we just need to REMEMBER HOW IT IS TO BE NATURAL!

Is that all?

That might seem overly simple, but the truth is that in our essence we are wild and sacred and naturally ‘plugged in’ beings governed by an incredible in-built intelligence. Most of us were not educated to listen and respond to this natural wild intelligence but there is a way of coming back to it.

Basically. Tantra in my practice and understanding, is essentially a way of living and relating in which we embrace life and reclaim our natural spiritual wisdom and innocence.

In innocence there is TRUST, there is playfulness, there is the ability to be vulnerable and open and SURRENDER to what feels alive in the moment. There is the willingness to go past ideas of right and wrong and our conditioned patterns to embrace life as it is and experience life in its fullness.

Through Tantra we learn to BE with ourselves rather than run from ourselves. We shine a loving light of acceptance within so that our shadows can exist without being cut off from our deep heart. We learn to be transparent about what is really going on for us and in the process we learn to accept who we are, open more to more of what we are, and move beyond the fear that keeps us wrapped up in our old patterns.

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Tantra means ‘ to weave’ and it also means ‘to expand’ . Through loving self acceptance and the willingness to honour all aspects of life as intrinsically sacred we weave all aspects of ourselves into one conscious tapestry of life. When we invite the possibility of expanding beyond ‘the known’ we invite great shifts and leaps in our behaviour and our lives.

The subject of Tantra is huge, yet it is only working for us if it is guiding us back to an experience of simplicity, of freedom, of love.

Gathering in a space dedicated to this living exploration (like a Tantra workshop) is amazing, but we can also explore the basic principals of Tantra in our daily lives by simply being DEVOTED TO THAT WHICH FEELS NATURAL. Through consciously reclaiming and inhabiting that natural wild, open, loving nature that we had as small children.

Here are a few tips for bringing this exploration  into your daily life.

1. Follow the natural flow

When we are stuck in our old patterns we are usually trying to manipulate our reality in order to avoid pain and
rejection. This is kind of like the polar opposite of trust. This is the opposite of sensing into the flow and following that flow.

Following the flow involves sensing into what is moving in you right now, and following that.trust the flow

Because most of us were trained to live from our heads and not our bodies then this usually involves a process of reorientation.

And it really is a process, it involves checking in with ourselves again and again and again.

You can stop at any moment of the day and ask yourself.

‘How do I feel right now?’

‘What do I need?’

Or if you come to a situation where you would like to learn to do things in a more responsive and natural way you can ask:

‘What would life want here?’

We can literally invite in more openness into our experience and consciously choose to trust in our natural responses as well as the universal plan.

Take the time to tune into your own energy, welcome whatever it is that you feel, express it, cultivate it, there are so many wonderful ways to do this, explore them, weave them into the tapestry of your life.

2. Connect, intimately, constantly.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOften we tend to think of intimacy as something that we experience only with our lover, and although the kind of intimacy we share in sexual experiences is indeed a potent form of intimacy.

We can experience intimacy anytime and anywhere when we let go of our sense of being a separate person.

My research experiment in recent years has been to see how it is to simply reveal the way that I am feeling and to lay myself bare under the gaze of others, even if they are bringing up my stuff.

Yes I actually ‘practice being seen’ and I really recommend this amazing but super simple practice.

Fortunately you can do it anywhere…

Great places to do it are dance floors, sexual encounters and anytime that you notice that you feel fear. In those moments you can notice what your instinct says to do. Is it to look cool? Is it to numb out? Instead of acting out of habit, take a pause, check in within, keep on breathing and focus on being in your body as you are witnessed by another being.

When you allow yourself to be real, you become a walking permission slip allowing everyone else to be real….

Try it for yourself…. amazing experiences of everyday intimacy could happen!

3. Create spaces for intimacy

Instead of waiting and hoping for profound exchanges of intimacy to happen, you can create those opportunities 11018322_10206263537655495_7998889645517665917_nyourself by asking for what you need.

First of all decide who there is in your life who you trust and then decide on a clear way to ask them to join you in your exploration.

This could be a space where you will simply gaze into your each others eyes  for 10 minutes then share a hug.

It could be a space where you meditate together and then exchange some intuitive healing.

Be clear about your needs and intentions and creative about the kind of container and experience you will create. If you are both clear about the guidelines and boundaries then both of you can relax into the space and great healing can occur.

I REPEAT! It is important to be super clear about the boundaries. You can ask the person if  they are willing to hold a loving non- sexual space for you. This could be with the intention to help release some emotions, to ground you into your body through loving non-goal-orientated touch, or simply to share a space of presence together.

You could just say ‘Are you willing to hold space for me?’

Creating these kinds of spaces for intimacy is incredibly liberating and empowering, you can do this if you are in a relationship or not. Start small and experiment.

4. LET GO OF CONTROL!

It doesn’t have to be hard, it can just be a simple question to self:

‘How would it be to let go of this thought and allow myself to be free in this moment?’

‘How would it be if everything was perfect and this fear/anger/sadness/insecurity that I feel is ok?’

And then breathe and stay grounded, allow your feelings, and be open to the energy shifting – and see what happens.

All these are simple ways to invite in a completely different way of living and relating. A way of living where we are not living from fear, a way of living where we are open to the fullness of life moving through us. It takes vigilance and courage and humility to notice when we are acting from fear, and to choose another way. But once you get a feel for how that feels in your life, you will begin to LOVE it.

I encourage you to take your natural self into the world, explore, share and have fun!

sacred succulence sisters

Would you like to explore these principles in a safe and supportive space with other women?

Join us for the Sacred Succulence- Feminine Yoga and Tantra Retreat in 2016 in Bali

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Do you need me to hold space for you?

Thats what I do! I offer personal sessions and coaching programs (to both women and men)  to help you identify and move through your old patterns in a loving supportive way.

And other workshops and retreats for women.

Get in touch! I would love to hear from you !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Take me deeper or do not take me at all

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Last night I symbolically threw my shame in the river, I threw in the subtle shame I realised I hold on some level about being single. As if maybe that makes me somehow inadequate or undesirable or just not good enough at manifesting!

I released this unhelpful thought form, because it is not based on truth.

If I really wanted a man, I could ‘get’ one, I could manipulate reality somehow and find a body to share my bed with, but the truth is that I do not just want any body. I want a man who can truly open me and open TO me. A man who can really see me, a man who is dedicated to growth and truth in the same way that I am. A man who takes me deeper than I can go myself.

I am determined not to purchase the idea that men are ‘behind’ the women in terms of growing up and showing up (although I could easily rustle up a hell of a lot of evidence to prove this) and my intention in writing about this subject is not to point out that men are not capable of really meeting me. It is about me getting super clear about where I am investing my energy, where I am losing energy, where I am barking up the wrong tree, where I am forgetting to trust, where I am selling out for the hope of fulfilling a romantic vision, and losing touch with reality in the process.

Forgive me for making pronouncements for all women, because many might disagree, but from my own experience I would say that the romantic illusion is FUCKING STRONG for us women.

I am generally a very grounded woman (and pretty wise actually, ask my friends!) and yet in the field of relating I have observed an unbelievable tendency to create intricate webs of delusion centred around whoever it is I am attracted to. FUCK. It is SO frustrating, I experience first hand how I can go into a complete story as soon as I fancy a guy.

So this article is about ME, and this tendency of women to give our power away, in the hope of receiving love and validation and fulfilling a romantic fantasy.

Let me take you back 48 hours, to a scene by a river, here in magnificent beautiful tropical Bali. At a restaurant with a dear soul sister, I was freshly out of a period of fasting and meditation, with a fresh perspective on THE TRUTH about what had been REALLY going on with the last guy I had been relating to.

First of all, the guy is lovely, was as honest with me as he could be, this is not really about him.

What I could observe clearly, after a couple of weeks of being completely friggin confused and blind, was that I was moving towards this guy, basically because I was following a romantic impulse, and just really wanted to be seen, met and loved, by a man.

Yes I admit it.

I am dying to be loved, seen and met, by a man.

The problem is that this man was so obviously not in a position to meet me and fulfil these needs, yet something in me kept on moving towards him, I was moved from a place of lack rather than a place of fullness, I created a story which fed my unconscious insecurities, and my precious energy was wasted in the process.

On this night, in a fit of clarity on the whole issue, I made a stand for myself, I have no idea if I will uphold it but still it feels really important to at least try.

(And my friend told me I had to write about it, I really didn’t want to because this subject makes me feel really vulnerable, but when she said it I got a funny feeling in my tummy that indicated to me that I had no choice, I had to write about it. And I trust that if you are reading this then this might be meaningful to you in some way.)

So what did I make a stand for?

To not give my power and energy away to relationships that do not take me deeper into an experience of truth, intimacy and aliveness.

To not settle for unconscious relating or unsatisfying sex.

(Am I the only girl who gets emotionally attached as soon as she has sex with someone? This is not my pledge to be celibate until marriage but this is a kick up the arse to myself to honour the fact that my heart and yoni are inextricably linked, and to only create ties to men who are UP FOR THE JOURNEY and ready and willing to meet me in the depths and stay present for the whole process.)

My intention is to HAVE MY EYES OPEN and notice when I have moved from reality into fantasy, to communicate, to be authentic, to be CLEAR ABOUT MY OWN NEEDS, and find empowering ways to fulfil them.

And a note to the men:

I want you, I need you, and if you are relating to me intimately I need you to open to me, if you hold back your presence and love, we both lose out.

If you cannot open to me, please explain to the best of your ability what is going on for you, let me know where you are at, so at least I can try and work from it on my side.

Please help me, lovingly, to stay in my centre and have compassion for the fact that I have this massive urge to love and be loved, and if I am attracted to you, there is a good chance I will project some of my yearning on to you.

Please be aware of how sensitive I am to your touch and presence, I have learnt to be vulnerable and soft so that I can surrender to you as the feminine principal, and that means I come to you un-armoured by choice, so please take care. Please understand that my yearning for love feels bigger than me. I can get blinded by my pull to merge with you!

And thank you for every time you have been honest with me, and loving at the same time, this is incredible medicine for my heart. Thank you for every moment you have come to me with respect and love and received the preciousness of my gifts. Thank you for every time you have entered me with presence and devotion. Thank you for every time you have stayed with me until our process is complete and left me with a feeling of being respected and honoured.

And to myself….and all women

Thank you for being open to love, thank you for being human too, and vulnerable and real, thank you for choosing to focus your energy on what Is expansive and supportive, and making wise choices that serve your greatest needs rather than your need to be validated.

And also.

Life is amazing you are amazing! Please do not sell out for that small part of you who is afraid that she is not loveable!

If there is not a man on the scene that is capable of offering you something of worth, and who is able to recognize and receive the gift of you, don’t waste you time. Be single and proud, make love to life, nurture your energy, feed your power and cultivate discernment. Respect the preciousness of your own energy and the temple of your own body and share it with the people who expand you beyond your small self’s fears…If they are not here now, they will come, until then, rest into being and TRUST!