Do you remember the first time Isis made Herself—really important—in your life?

For me, it’s been a long time. In fact, I can tell you that I have been Her devotee for most of my life now. And I have been Her dedicated priestess for decades.

Of course, even before any formal declarations, I’d been dancing with Her for a while. I would often find myself reading about Her, looking at images of Her, wondering about Her.

And the crazy thing was that, at the time, I was actually looking for a Divine relationship; I was looking for my Goddess. But in my youthful rebelliousness, I thought a more obscure Goddess would be more appropriate for the uniqueness—okay, weirdness—that is me. Isis, I thought, was way too ordinary; everybody knows Isis. At least Her more mysterious Dark Sister Nephthys should be my Goddess. I must have closed the door in Isis’ face half a dozen different times. You’re cringing; so am I.

But Isis is a Goddess and I am only a thick-skulled human. My lack of commitment did not put Her off at all. She simply kept coming back and tapping on my shoulder (this is Her way; please see Isis the Ass-Kicker for more on that).

Alas, the story I’m telling now has no riveting suspense. Eventually, She just wore me down and I began preparing to dedicate myself to Her.

I did my research. I wrote my ritual. I made my purifications and prayers. On the appointed day, I began the rite. But about halfway through, I began to feel very faint. VERY faint. (You see, in those long ago days, this often happened to me in the presence of magical energy; I’d go very pale and start to pass out. Many is the time when my fellow ritualists had to stop mid-rite and prop me up for a while.)

Nonetheless, I was determined to finish the ritual and did so while sitting on the floor in front of the altar. Part of the rite involved formally asking the Goddess to accept me as Her priestess. The short answer I got was, “No.” But the longer answer was, “Go study and come back in a year.”

So, that’s exactly what I did. A year later, I reworked the same ritual, didn’t faint, and was accepted. Not long after that, I got a strange and wonderful confirmation of Her acceptance, too. A woman I barely knew came to me on a mission from the Goddess. I think she was as confused by it as I was. She’d had a dream of Isis that was so strong that she simply had to act on it. In the dream, Isis told her to come to me and give me a gift of earrings in the form of a Winged Isis. She did—and I knew that Isis had truly claimed me.

The path of devotion to Isis isn’t always what we expect. In fact, I don’t think it should always be what we expect. When things take an odd turn, I usually consider it a sign that I’m in contact with true Divine energy. If things go exactly as I thought they would, it can mean that I’m merely fulfilling my own expectations. While that’s not always true, it is indeed something to be aware of—a warning that we may be talking to ourselves rather than talking to Isis.

It is good to remember how it was on that First Day. To remember the circumstances again. To feel the feelings again. As you likely know, the idea of the First Day was extremely important to the ancient Egyptians. The renewal and re-creation of the First Day, the First Time, the First Occasion, the Zep Tepi in Egyptian, was the magic they were continually Working. Every temple was the place of the First Day, every day. Every ritual reenacted the First Day, every time.

I don’t know about you, but I am feeling the need for the renewal of that First Day right now. And so, I will do as the ancients did. I will tend the shrine. I will work the rituals. I will make offering. I will go back to the beginning and do the rites and meditations I did when I was first coming to know Her—the ones you will find in Isis Magic and Offering to Isis. I know they will different for me this time. And yet, I know they will still take me back to that First Day. And I will hope to be, like Osiris, renewed and reborn under the Wings of Isis. Amma, Iset. Grant that it be so.